Stepmom Vs. Bonus Mom… Why Both Matter?
A Bonus Mom is a mom who did not birth the children that she is raising. This can be in the form of adoption or parenting a child with their significant other.
A Stepmom typically means the woman steps into the parent role alongside their significant other.
Lots of stepmoms prefer to referred to as “Bonus Moms”. The word “Bonus” sounds amazing and extra special. Like the children are getting a special surprise. While the word “Step” kind of feels dull and angry; just like Cinderella’s “Stepmom”. But Bonus feels joyful and fun! To be honest; it does not matter what word you choose to use, it is more important how you make the children feel. The children should feel like they are a bonus to you and less like they were inherited and now you have to put up with them.
Being a Stepmom is so much more challenging because of how they have been portrayed in books and movies. It is such an unfair stigma. But you get to decide the king of Stepmom or Bonus mom you like to be.
Whether parenting your Step kids, bonus kids, birth kids, or adopted kids, you are all bonuses to each other, not less than. Do not Look at this as a daunting task. It is an opportunity to blend families, cultures, and open up so much love that you did not even know possible.
The Prepared Mamas encourage all Mamas to find all opportunities possible to find love and happiness. Reach out and encourage the Step and Bonus Moms that you know.
Also, check out our website… Great Things are Coming!!!!
2 comments
Bonus Mom is not an adoptive mom. Once a child is adopted, that’s mom. I coined the term bonus as a more positive word for step. Dr. Jann Blackstone
Your definition of Bonus mom is not correct. A bonus mom is not an adoptive parent. Since I made up the term over 25 years ago and I am the director of a non-profit, Bonus Families, dedicated to advancing co-parenting and bonus relationships, I can tell you, an adoptive parent is mom. A bonusparent is the partner of a parent and supports the parents rules for their children and plays an active part int he children’s lives. If you would like a clearer definition, please visit the Bonus Families website at www.bonusfamilies.com